How my year of no goals became a year of firsts.
On turning 40, quitting alcohol, and getting a tattoo.
In the last few years there’s been a shift in my approach to life that seemed to come into clearer focus this year. I felt called to slow down and lean into a more intuitive way of living. I thought of it as My Year of No Goals.
My mantra for the year was moving with the flow of life, following what piqued my interest, and leaning into self-trust instead of forcing things or chasing achievements.
It turned out to be a continued practice of showing up in a more flexible and open-minded way. A practice of re-directing the mind when it desperately tries to create certainty out of thin air, and taking action—not from fear, but when it’s clear that action needs to be taken.
Once I liberated myself from the constraints of a predetermined pursuit, I freed up energy and brain space for interests I otherwise wouldn’t have considered. Since I wasn’t busy chasing one single-minded goal, I was able to listen to my intuition and notice what actually resonated with me.
So as I reflect on this year of no goals, here are some experiences that quietly and unexpectedly shaped it into a year of firsts…
I quit drinking alcohol
On the morning of January 1st I decided I was done with alcohol. A fleeting idea that had crossed my mind here and there, but which I never seriously contemplated or tried putting into practice, suddenly came into clarity: I don’t want to drink anymore. This has turned out to be one of the most empowering changes I’ve made in my entire life so far.
I went through a therapeutic mushroom journey
To put it very mildly, this was a true practice in letting go of control. The moment I realized I couldn’t get off the proverbial bus until the journey was over was quite terrifying. But once I was able to surrender, it felt like an emotional rollercoaster full of lessons, healing, and fears.
I knew I had to let it take me where it needed to take me, and I had zero control over what the journey looked like. As they say, “you don’t get what you want from it, you get what you need.” Boy, did I get what I needed!
I got my first tattoo and then I got another one
I never wanted a tattoo before. I turned 40 in September, and right around my birthday I kept having this nudge about wanting one. One day I said, “fuck it” and went with a friend to one of those pop-up tattoo events. But then, a few weeks later, as I prepared to get my tattoo retouched (those damn finger tattoos I was warned about but still chose to do) I decided to get another one I couldn’t stop thinking about. So there it is—I went from zero to two tattoos in one month. Okay, this does have a bit of mid-life crisis flavor to it, but I’m obsessed with my tattoos. It was my way to honor a beginning of a new decade!
I performed with my Samba group
Last December, during one of those mindless Instagram scrolls, a random video of a samba dancer popped up and instantly pulled me into a rabbit hole of fascination and curiosity. I frantically started searching for samba classes, and after taking my first class, I was immediately hooked.
Although it pushed me out of my comfort zone and repeatedly brought me face-to-face with my insecurities, it turned out to be a gift that kept on giving—a steady lesson in showing up for myself in those sticky, awkward moments.
This eventually led to my first time performing on a stage. I felt proud of myself—not because it was perfect, but because I showed up and did something entirely new, unknown, and big.
I went on my first cruise
This was so special because it was a full circle moment. I started working on a cruise ship in my early twenties. It was the first time I left Serbia and felt like I was on my own. It completely changed my life and expanded my dreams. Since I’ve known myself, I had a yearning to live abroad, and when I came back from my first cruise ship contract, that yearning was further cemented. Working on a cruise ship completely opened up my world and my life was never the same.
While I worked on a cruise ship, I had daydreams of one day coming back as a guest and giving a metaphorical middle finger to those who doubted I would do anything with my life (I have imaginary haters that help me stay motivated, lol).
The cherry on top was that during my last contract in 2011, I met my husband. For both of us, the idea of going on a cruise felt far-fetched at times, so making it a reality was a big deal. Taking this trip was our way of celebrating how far we’ve come since our cruise ship days—and this time, we weren’t working or catering to others. We were just there, soaking in every minute of it.
Cappuccinos are my creative currency! ☕️