Some connections arrive quietly and change us forever. Through loving and losing Rini, and learning to live with the wild, untamed spirit of River, I discovered that love doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Sometimes it asks us to slow down. Sometimes it asks us to let go. And sometimes it teaches us how to live fully awake, right in the middle of the chaos.

When I look back at different seasons of my life and ways I’ve given my power away, it’s not the glaringly obvious things that stand out, but the subtle, daily choices that slowly sucked the life out of me.

The patterns that didn’t feed my soul, but also didn’t look “bad” enough on the surface. The disempowering choices that were easy to ignore, rationalize, and justify over time. The insidious experiences that eroded my confidence and self-trust.

It’s how most of us lose ourselves and give our power away - slowly, quietly, over time.

When I feel lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected from myself, I return to a small set of personal guidelines. They aren’t rules or commandments. They’re reminders. Ways of orienting back to what matters, to what feels true, to what gives me a little more agency and freedom in my own life.

These are the ideas I come back to when I need steadiness. Take what supports you. Leave the rest behind.

Here are some question to orient you towards the possibilities inherent in each new day.

Once I liberated myself from the constraints of a predetermined pursuit, I freed up energy and brain space for interests I otherwise wouldn’t have considered. Since I wasn’t busy chasing one single-minded goal, I was able to listen to my intuition and notice what actually resonated with me.